Panic attacks

Anybody else suffer with these?

Mine are brought on threw a fear of vomiting. Its sounds ridiculous, having a super fear of something natural, and generally means your getting rid of something bad in your system.

If I get the feeling i might be sick, a strange stomach twinge, or a warm feeling in my throat, I go into meltdown, I can't control my breathing, I shake violently, i have this overwhelming fear wash over me and i feel like i just need to run and get back to my moms house and drink glasses of water. I remember the exact time i last threw up,It was febuary , I woke up at 1,31AM but didn't vomit till 3AM now i can't go to bed until after 2am in case i wake up. If I wake up before or around 1.30AM i have a panic attack without even thinking about it because it was the time i woke up and had a panic attack the whole time until i vomited.

I suffered with panic attacks like this for 4 years, i couldn't sleep in my own room and had to camp in my moms room every night without fail i would have a panic attack unless i was sleeping in my moms room, i even became addicted to Gaviscon because i convinced myself it would stop me vomiting. They then eventually subsided, i don't know how or why they stoped, perhaps my step dad being kicked out,mom also made me go cold turkey on the gaviscon to. i then only had panic attacks perhaps once or twice every couple of months from ages 14 to now, 20, they would subside quick and last no longer then maybe 10minutes, a big improvement on 1am till 6am panic attacks.

Since March this year i have now suffered with panic attacks almost constantly, they are gradually getting worse, even though i am undergoing counciling at present. I can't go in the bathroom for a bath past 1pm , i don't go out and see friends anymore, or go places unless i know it will be quick and i'm in a car. I've lost a stone and a half in weight, i rarely eat incase it makes me ill, constantly exhausted from sleeping to late and then getting up at 7am for no reason. I can't hold any kind of job down or work experience. I'm also addicted to gaviscon again and have panic attacks if i don't take any everyday.

Docters want me to take antidepressants for them, then told me they could make me vomit, so i said no thanks!

i have no idea what the rest of the year holds for me, or how ima cope o.o! but i hope so hard they go away for good

Microsoft updates

So before I got this nifty little Emachines Netbook, I was using an Acer 5315 on Vista ( I know I know terrible ) it lagged, got super slow, refused to let me have the vista start bar and was just plain crap ( never been to impressed by acer )

Always wanted me to do these security updates, and twice it killed my laptop.

1st time cut of all my wireless and interenets and refused no matter what i did to fix and resign on.

2nd i got the Vista black screen of death where i could only see my mouse cursor o.o

My netbook is on XP, so far i haven't installed any updates, so would installing them cause major melt down on XP or was it only shit vista?

TL;DR

are XP computer updates safe to install or unsafe like vistas?

Xbox Live

I now have xbox live! only the free month one tho however!

Gamer tag

s1nf3ction

Who i've seen live.

Dismantled
Rabia sorda
Whoretuary
Combichrist x2
Aesthetic perfection
alien vampires
Suicide commando
Hocico
Dir en grey
The birthday massacre x2
Lacuna coil
Napalm death
Neara
Animal alpha
Communic
Amorphis
Blitzkrieg
Narziss
Turbonegro
Immortal
Dimmu borgir
Inertia
Uberbyte x2
UnterART
Black dhalia murder
Blind guardian
Moon spell
Type O negative
Therion
Screaming banshee aircrew
Jimmy carr x2
Circus of horrors, the asylum

Circus of horros, day of the dead
Spetnaz
proceed
Ashbury heights
Sins of the flesh
Pyscho Luna
Blood red shoes
Deviate
D.U.S.T.
Vampires rock

wtfshit is up with myspace?!

3 times my personal myspace account has had its password changed, the email account linked to it deactivated and all my inbox's being read. and once again i cannot get into my myspace o.o

get tired of this D=!!!

but nothing apart from the above is being changed, nothing on my profile, no comments, nada.

So whats the chances this being a bot?

wishlist

megaupload premium account plox ;o

or a disc with over 9000 psx games for my psp phat =D

stephen hawking's cakse

This was my attempt ( due to lack of money and resources its poor ) at making a cake in the shape of stephen hawking o.o i looked all over google for a cake similar style to go from but alas! google failed me.

This is meant to be him on his wheelchair, how ever after setting in the fridge it then just looked like a pervy old lady on a recliner with her legs spread o.o woe is me ;-;