Monday, 6 September 2010

Panic attacks

Anybody else suffer with these?
Mine are brought on threw a fear of vomiting. Its sounds ridiculous, having a super fear of something natural, and generally means your getting rid of something bad in your system.
If I get the feeling i might be sick, a strange stomach twinge, or a warm feeling in my throat, I go into meltdown, I can't control my breathing, I shake violently, i have this overwhelming fear wash over me and i feel like i just need to run and get back to my moms house and drink glasses of water. I remember the exact time i last threw up,It was febuary , I woke up at 1,31AM but didn't vomit till 3AM now i can't go to bed until after 2am in case i wake up. If I wake up before or around 1.30AM i have a panic attack without even thinking about it because it was the time i woke up and had a panic attack the whole time until i vomited.
I suffered with panic attacks like this for 4 years, i couldn't sleep in my own room and had to camp in my moms room every night without fail i would have a panic attack unless i was sleeping in my moms room, i even became addicted to Gaviscon because i convinced myself it would stop me vomiting. They then eventually subsided, i don't know how or why they stoped, perhaps my step dad being kicked out,mom also made me go cold turkey on the gaviscon to. i then only had panic attacks perhaps once or twice every couple of months from ages 14 to now, 20, they would subside quick and last no longer then maybe 10minutes, a big improvement on 1am till 6am panic attacks.
Since March this year i have now suffered with panic attacks almost constantly, they are gradually getting worse, even though i am undergoing counciling at present. I can't go in the bathroom for a bath past 1pm , i don't go out and see friends anymore, or go places unless i know it will be quick and i'm in a car. I've lost a stone and a half in weight, i rarely eat incase it makes me ill, constantly exhausted from sleeping to late and then getting up at 7am for no reason. I can't hold any kind of job down or work experience. I'm also addicted to gaviscon again and have panic attacks if i don't take any everyday.
Docters want me to take antidepressants for them, then told me they could make me vomit, so i said no thanks!
i have no idea what the rest of the year holds for me, or how ima cope o.o! but i hope so hard they go away for good

6 comments:

  1. it's ok, everyone usually has one or more irrational fears...some people just don't show it often

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, that's weird, but just as much as any other phobia. The human brain is a pretty complex thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. an old friends friend had a phobia of bananas..xD

    ReplyDelete